


Gamzee => exercise poor decision making skills

by omgPlzNo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bulges and Nooks, Dubious Consent, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Petstuck, Xeno, elements of it anyway, kind of plot but not really, not even vaugly canon compliant, practically PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 09:39:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4014844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omgPlzNo/pseuds/omgPlzNo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which petstuck versions of Gamzee, Karkat, Tavros, and Eridan interact in poorly conceived ways, including but not limited to: quadrant shenanigans just moments after meeting, unreasonable amounts of gamzee hitting on literally every one else in the story, unnecessary violence, and poor decision making on the part of everyone, including the author. Also it rains. The whole time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gamzee => exercise poor decision making skills

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, i am sorry for this, to start off, this is quite possibly trash. But you most likely read homestuck, so you are probably totally ok with that amiright c;  
> Anyway, self-indulgent trash ahead, don't say you weren't warned.  
> As always, any feedback is fabulous, tell me what you think? (Is it the good kind of trash? Maybe?) Criticism is also welcome, as i have next to no actual writing experience (other than what comes from reading far too much)  
> But thats enough rambling from me. Hope you enjoy!

You lead your moirail up to the trashy human hive, standing partially over him to help keep some rain off. It looks as tho no human has set foot in it in sweeps. Perfect. Hopefully there will be some abandoned blankets or something that are dry and not too filthy, but you don't hold out hope. It sure would be a lovely miracle tho. You scoot Karkat under a roof overhang for safekeeping as you go to find a way in. The windows are all boarded up, and for the most part you'd like to keep them that way. Helps keep motherfuckers out.

  
Behind some shrubs in the back, you find a hole in the wall, which is perfect, but there is a fresh scent of other troll, which is very not. You shrug it off, swishing your tail, and creep inside. If you can subdue the other, or otherwise convince them to leave you alone, this place is surely big enough for all of you. Ahh, motherfuck, but it is nice in here. Doesn't smell like rot, no leaks that you can see, not even much trash or broken shit scattered around... aww yee, abandoned couch! You will totally fight for this place. As you explore further, it smells like the other troll -or actually trolls, you can smell at least two- seem to keep to only one or two rooms not counting the path to and from the hole. There is a whole upstairs too, but you don't want to risk the stairs creaking or some shit and alerting the other trolls. You have been warned about stairs.  
You creep up to where the others seem to get their live on at, totally silent, ears perked and alert. You are gonna spy on these motherfuckers a bit. You wanna get Karkat inside and dry and warm as soon as possible, so the sooner you can disregard these motherfuckers, the better. You peek around a door frame and get your first look at them. Looks like a scrawny sea dweller and a rust blood. You watch on them for a few moments to see if they've caught on to you being here before you dismiss the both of them entirely. You could totally beat the shit out of both of them at once if you needed to. You go to fetch Karkat.  
"Fuck! There are other assholes already in there?" He gapes at you, ears back and tail twitching with agitation.

"Gamzee, we can find somewhere else, you- AH-CHOO!" Karkat attempts to convince you that there were better options, but cuts himself off with a sneeze. He has definitely been out in the cold and wet too long. You will not take no for an answer right now.

"Best beloved, we can find somewhere else once the storm stops." You nudge at him some, press your side against his.

"We don't all need you to be getting sick if we can prevent that shit. Besides, I could beat those motherfuckers if they wanna start anything. They didn't even notice I was in there." He glances between you and the house a few times before shooting a look out over the rain slicked street. Finally he turns back to you and nods. You smile and lick some damp off his face before nudging him towards the entrance.

Karkat's face when he looks around fills you with pride. He's stopped shivering too. You did good. You nudge him towards the couch as you go off to maybe find something to dry the both of you off with. You wander back towards the front of the house, and enter what was the front bedroom. Not much in here anymore, shitty ass torn up carpet, a bunch of empty bottles and a plastic folding chair. You flick your ears dismissively. You check the closest just in case. Nothing. Hmm. The other ground floor bedroom and the hall bath are equally full of nothing helpful. You are gonna have to brave those stairs. You go tell karkat your plan. He argues. You win. You tell him to lay behind the couch so he's out of sight for if you alert the others, then up the stairs you go. Yeah, there is no way they didn't hear that, but while you are up here, might as well look around. Its not like you won't know when they head up.

  
The first two rooms you look in are a bust, but when you open up a closet, it seems like whatever human last lived here forgot to empty it out. Jackpot. It all smells pretty musty, but the armload of blankets, sheets and towels now in your possession are technically completely clean. Which is absolutely a miracle.  
Oop, sounds like they finally decided to come see what you were doing. You toss your loot back in the closet and shut the door. It wouldn't do to have this other motherfucker try and steal it from you. You go to meet him.

  
As you expected, its the sea dweller that came to defend the territory. Man, this fucker's observation skills suck. As he creeps into the first room you looked in, you go around behind him, blocking him off. Lightning flashes and he finally sees you, jumping about a foot off the ground in surprise. You laugh and show him all your teeth. He is suitably terrified. Good.

"Sup' fish bro" you rumble at him.

"Intruder!" He calls at you, "wwhat do you think you are doin' in here?" He is the very picture of aggression, with his ears tucked back, his tail high and lashing, his horns tilted down.

You have to laugh a bit at his accent, "not much bro, keeping out of that wicked rain, mostly" another bolt of lighting punctuates your point.

He growls at you, lowering his horns and spreading his fins. You just laugh at his threat display. You are half again as big as him and you've got him cornered, you are far from worried. Of course, being taken lightly straight up pisses him off, so he charges at you. Its pretty easy to redirect his attack and send him sprawling back into the middle of the room. You toss your horns playfully.

"That the best you all up and got? C'mon, motherfucker." He snarls indignantly and rushes you again. You snort a laugh and humor him with a parry, lowering your spiraling horns to lock with his wavy ones. He can't even shift you when you stop his charge dead. You laugh again and toss him further into the room by the horns.

"Shiiiiit, fish bro, you being serious with me right now? Is that really it?" You taunt. You are actually a little surprised at how painfully easy this is. You should probably end this before he embarrasses himself further.

"But really, fish bro," you say placatingly as he tries to get up again, "just give the motherfuck up and I won't even kick you out. This place is totally big enough for all of us."

"Fuck you!" He hisses, having finally found his feet.

You lower your eyelids at him and smirk. "Could up and do that, too." You rumble at him, all sultry, to see his reaction.  
You watch as his eyes widen and his nose colors. To your surprise, he totally wants it. You can smell it on him. Wow, fish is thirsty. Eh, you've had worse. Might as well. You smirk widens as you pull your head back and display a bit, pushing out your chest, tilting your horns so they catch the meager light from the window. Just a bit. Fish bro visibly swallows from across the room. So thirsty. Fucking hilarious. As you stalk towards him, his posture shifts from confused but aggressive, to as submissive as you can get while still standing up. You circle around him a bit, and he's got eyes for only you. Sure does make a brother feel attractive. You grin again.

"Tell at me what all you want, fish bro."

"Eridan"

"Hmm?"

"My n-" he swallows thickly, "my name is eridan"

Your grin stretches.

"Eridan. What 'chu want?" You stop in front of him and lean closer. He just whines. You can see from here his pupils are blown out, way too big to just account for the dark. Damn, he wants you bad. This is gonna be so fun.

"I - I," he stutters, and you tilt your head in encouragement. "I wwant you to -hhn, to fuck me."

"Sounds like a plan, Eribro," you say blithely as you lean in and click your horns together. He makes a choked glubbing sound right before you toss him to the floor. He lets out a single, loud glub as he hits the floor boards, but is too shocked to react for a moment still, when you move to stand over him. As you move to settle down on him, he pushes all four paws up against you and pants out

"wwait..." you pause and tilt your head questionly. "Wwhat's ... " he swallows, "wwhat's your name?" You have to chuckle at the way he talks again before you answer.

"Gamzee" is all you say before you lower yourself down again. You honestly can't tell if he lets you and just keeps his legs propped on you or if you are just that much stronger than him. It doesn't really matter, you decide. As you settle fully, you rub your groins together and purr at how wet he feels already. His back legs end up around your hips and his forepaws gripping onto your shoulders. You nip along his neck as you thrust down again. He make the sweetest noises.

 

You leave him passed out in the empty bedroom when you go to collect your fabricy loot from the closet. You don't really care what he does next; you don't plan on taking him for a quadrant, so as long as he doesn't threaten Karkat, you couldn't care less. You head back down to your moirail.

 

"Holy shit, Gamzee, did you seriously just fuck him?" Is the first thing your best beloved says to you.

"That certainly is a thing I all up and just did best friend." You return blithely, dumping the armload of cloth next to him on the couch.

"Why tho?" He asks wrinkling his nose. You just shrug, pulling out a towel and moving in to rub on him with it. He grudgingly accepts your ministrations.

You both jump at a clattering sound from the other room. Karkat lifts his lip in a silent snarl. You pat at his face a bit before going to investigate.

You completely forgot about the little rust blood, oops. He doesn't really look like a threat regardless of his large horns and rugged scars. He's still cringing from the pile of junk he knocked over and has yet to notice you, despite the fact that you aren't even trying to be sneaky.

Something smells odd in the room, tho. You scent the air. Oh, shit, that's the rust blood. He smells so motherfucking good.

You accidentally let out a mating call. Welp. Too late to take it back, time to own it. Karkat is probably gonna scold you.

By the time he spots you, you've got a full blown, highblood 'come hither' smolder going. Works like a charm. He lets out a few chirps and kinda shuffles sideways at you, all submissive, with his ears out and down, and his tail arched up at the base. The scent at least doubles in potency too. No wonder fish bro was actin' so thirsty, hanging out in this smell, stewing in borrowed pheromones, hot damn.

You stand up as tall as you can with all four paws still firmly on the ground, and arch your neck over at him. He just drops to the floor, showing his belly immediately. You rumble approvingly and step over to him. As soon as you make a move, he presses himself more fully against the ground and wiggles enticingly. You lick your lips and hum at him. As you come into reach, the forepaw he had in the air comes to rest on your shoulder, gripping at you. You use your own forepaw to drag his hips around towards you; they leave a streak of brown on the floor boards as they are moved.

He starts chirping on almost every breath, and you rumble a possessive growl at him. You lean down and run your fangs teasingly down his throat as he whines high and loud before you sink them into the meat of his shoulder, marking him. He trills out his own mating call as you finally settle yourself over him. He is warm like a furnace, and as your bulge slips out, it seeks at the warmest place of him. As you penetrate, he chokes on his own warbling cry. You lick into his open mouth and shove your hips into his harshly a few times before setting up a steady, rolling pace.

He lays there, entirely limp, but for his gripping forepaws scratching lines into your shoulders, letting out harsh gasps every time your body pushes his forward. Not that he isn't near continuously making some kind of sweet noise, even when your tongue is in his mouth, because he totally is. You nip a line up from his shoulder to his jaw before closing your teeth gently around the tender part of his neck just below his chin. He chokes off a whine and tenses up under you, still but for a few full body tremors. You disregard his apprehension and continue to thrust forcefully into him. You feel him lock up in a different way as an orgasm hits him, his nook clamping tightly around you before shivering and pulsing into waves of squeezing motions, as if to milk your bulge.

You let go of his throat to bite his shoulder again as you purr and grind against him, not very close to finishing yourself at all.  
His arms fall off your shoulders as he shudders through aftershocks, all limp again. You purr louder and lick the bite marks on his shoulder before you start thrusting again. He squeals and tosses his head back, over stimulated, and wiggles as if trying to get away from your bulge. You growl and lick up his throat and thrust harder. Shortly, his overstimulated whining changes back to heavy, pleasured moaning. You grin and lick into his mouth again. This time when he cums, the pulsing and squeezing of his nook pushes you over the edge too. You pour yourself into him, and his body drinks it up and locks it away in its special sac, along with all of his own material, none of which spilled outside his body.

He groans softly as you pull out, and purrs as you settle down beside him. He curls into you, tucking his face against your neck.

This one tho, this one you will take into your quadrants. This one, you will keep. Shortly thereafter, your little bronze blood falls asleep. You scout around for where his nest is before fetching him to it, and all but tucking him in. You rumble at him, marking his face and neck with scent before wandering back to the block where Karkat is.

 

"Oh. My. Actual. Fuck, Gamzee." Karkat gives you a sour look as you come back into the block. You duck your head and blink up at him, giving your best 'what did i do?' expression. Karkat is not moved. You try a sheepish grin and he sighs gustily, rolling his eyes.

"I swear, Gamzee, within the first hour of being here, you literally fucked *both* the other occupants of this hive. Was that *really* necessary?" He gripes. For the most part, you ignore his ranting as you trot over to him for snuggles. When you try to get all up in his space tho, he groans and pushes you at arm's length,

"bluh, you stink like sex, go stand in the rain for a while or something" he complains, squinting his eyes and turning his nose away. When he glances back at you, you are giving him your best pile eyes. He groans at you some more before letting you up on the couch with him. He settles down against you and snuggles his face into your neck before turning his head away and pulling another disgusted look.

"Ugh, that is really fucking strong" he grumbles.

You purr, "so cover it up" and give him a smoldering look.

He scoffs and shoves your face away. You let him shove you around, laughing the whole time.

He pushes you over and climbs on top of you with the most disgruntled face, you can't help but laugh at, before he shoves his face into your chest and starts leaking pale pheromones all over you.

You laugh harder that he actually is doing as you said and squeeze him to you. Once he is satisfied with how you smell, he finally settles down for cuddles.

You hum deep in your chest, thoroughly pleased with yourself.

**Author's Note:**

> Haha, ok, wow. Thank you, if you actually made it through that!  
> And thank you preemptively for any comments!


End file.
